I’ve been feeling a bit reflective during the past two weeks or so (when not working a great deal >_>), and this has engendered a peculiar sort of behavior: I am not currently obsessed with anything in particular.
It’s a strange feeling. On most days, I am really ready to dive into some particular thing, whether it is Macross, mathematics, Miku, manga, molecular evolutionary biology, or Mesopotamian archaeology. For a few days, at least, I’ve been unfocused. I feel unhinged by the experience, and it’s a curious sensation. Ought I be looking for another obsession? Is that really a good idea?
Most of my short-term obsessions are just temporary wave-crests of research from long running interests. Therefore, I sense that this is a temporary period of cancellation in the overlapping amplitudes. This is by no means a stable equilibrium. While I’m here, though, it is intriguing to notice how different it all feels.
Without a clear obsession, I wander from news article to new article, processing a bit of financial news here, a few wikipedia articles there. I spend time doing small things around my apartment, or pestering my significant other.
It’s quite irritating, I’m sure.
This mental malaise reached a tipping point yesterday evening when I began trolling ancient web links, looking for late-90’s web shrines and the like. I knew then that it was time to stop. Why is it so difficult to focus sometimes? I suspect that holding focus too long creates its own problems. These days of working and wandering the Internet seem a little unproductive now, but they may provide a necessary respite from intense enthusiasm.
The question now is what I intend to focus on next. I’m looking into possibly rereading Love Hina while I decide, so who really knows what that will lead to? It’s always fun to find out, since I can never really predict it.
Here’s to the next project, as yet unknown!